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What Should I Say If I Need Help?
Everything atomic sagebrush needs to know to help you get pregnant!
People often contact me at Gender Dreaming because they aren’t getting pregnant while using Natural Gender Selection methods. Sometimes they’ve been trying many months, even YEARS, on other swaying sites before coming to me for help. They seek me out because I don’t allow people to go on that long not getting pregnant, EVER - we have 3 months average time to conception on Gender Dreaming.
When I ask them what they’re doing for their sway, they’ll oftentimes send me back a very long message about their diet, sending me a complete record of the foods they’ve been eating, when they’re eating, how much they’re eating, what their husband is eating, even describing in detail what they ate yesterday or today - but NOTHING about the many, many things that can actually prevent conception!
As long as your menstrual cycle is still regular, or HAS been regular for most of the time you’ve been trying, and your BMI is at minimum 18.5 (better yet, 21) and is less than 30, it’s unlikely that your diet is preventing conception. Even if your cycle has changed, it’s still probably not your diet that is keeping you from getting pregnant. Certainly let me know if you have concerns about changes in your cycle, but I don’t need to know what you ate 6 months ago to help you with that!
What DOES prevent that beautiful Big Fat Positive pregnancy test, is ANYTHING that can physically prevent conception from taking place. Anything that keeps sperm from meeting egg and a fertilized egg from moving down the Fallopian tubes and implanting in your uterus. That’s what I need to know from you - whatever you were doing for a sway, or even just in generaly, that could potentially prevent the physical act of conception. This includes:
Anything that can lower your husband’s sperm count, including medication, health challenges (diabetes, obesity, and high blood pressure are biggies), herbal supplements, tight underwear, hot baths, jogging or riding a bike, turkey baster method, abstains, daily releases, that sort of thing. Even if these are not specific to your sway, let me know about them - and if you’re not sure if your husband is doing anything that may affect sperm negatively, you may need to ask him. We have had several instances of men doing things that harmed their sperm count without their wives realizing it. Additionally, one of the MAIN culprits when there is no conception for a long time, is male factor infertility, so you may want to send him for a sperm analysis. Male factor infertility can happen even if a man has fathered kids in the past, so don’t discount this possibility out of hand.
Anything that can dry up cervical mucus in your vagina, and the fluids in your Fallopian tubes and uterus. Sperm needs these fluids to swim through, and the fertilized egg needs the fluids to move down the tubes into the uterus. This includes antihistamine, Sudafed, douching and taking a lot of hot baths for “ions” which can wash away CM, various herbs, certain medications, and some diseases like Sjogren’s Syndrome. Over time diet can make your CM less and of a drier consistency, but this is typically not enough to interfere with conception on its own, unless you’ve really cut back way too far (particularly with fat intake.) Let me know about any of these things that are in the mix!
Anything that can physically BLOCK sperm from getting to the egg or reduce their numbers along the way. Douching, lime tampons, the “at home high tech” methods advised by some swaying sites, swaying jellies like RepHresh and Acijel, lubricants that are not sperm-safe like KY and Sylk, supposed “natural” lubricants like coconut oil/egg white and even saliva, the “Hole in the Condom” and spermicide swaying methods, going off and on birth control pills and using progesterone cream in an attempt to sway gender, and even using an Instead or Diva cup, or a diaphragm, to allegedly “hold the sperm in.” I find LOWER rates of conception with the cups. They can in effect seal the cervix shut, preventing sperm from getting up into the crypts where it needs to go. Rarely (far less often than people think) scarring in uterus or tubes can prevent conception, but that is very far down the list of possible causes for not getting pregnant when swaying. Eliminate the problems under your control FIRST before panicking that you have uterine scarring and are now infertile.
Incorrect timing for conception. By incorrect timing, I mean just having sex on a certain cycle day and assuming that is when you ovulate, or using inaccurate apps that tell you to have sex based on your past cycles. Past cycles do not predict future cycles and these apps are keeping people from getting pregnant. Even when using Natural Family Planning methods like temping, monitoring cervical mucus, and OPK, it is VERY easy to get this wrong, so please let me know what method you’re using to determine when to have attempts. Don’t just assume you’re getting this right because an app told you that you are.
Timing methods for swaying. Timing DOES NOT SWAY! For pink swayers, this involves having long cutoffs or sex many hours after ovulation, particularly when done in concert with many of the other things on this list. For blue swayers or anyone trying to have a lot of sex in the fertile window, this involves starting daily sex too early, so your husband is completely depleted by the time the fertile window opens up. In some cases, men can’t even perform in the fertile window if they start having sex every day, too soon - and that can mean a wasted month! If you’ve been having sex every day, or even every other day, but aren’t conceiving with that, please let me know - daily sex and even every other day are really not that good at increasing odds of conception. I have better methods. And pink swayers, one more thing - one attempt actually does sway pink. Please resist the temptation to keep things that don’t work (like, most of the things I’ve mentioned in this list - herbs, frequency, timing, pH methods, tight undies and hot baths) only to add attempts to increase your chances of conception. Drop everything else except diet and exercise before adding attempts, and then let me help you add attempts in the ways that are the most pink-friendly while still upping chances of conception. Catch me at Gender Dreaming, that’s what I DO there!
Anything that could potentially prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in your uterus. If you conceive easily but keep having chemicals, this may be you. Herbs and other dietary supplements - even things that seem benign like fish oil and turmeric can have this effect, using birth control pills or progesterone cream as a sway tactic, having been on Clomid or Femara too long, and ABOVE ALL ELSE taking aspirin when you do not need to be taking aspirin. Only take aspirin under the guidance of a doctor. And PLEASE do not take anything else that is said to “aid implantation”. Your body knows how to implant a baby and doesn’t require aspirin, bromelain, or anything else to make that happen. These supplements are simply blood thinners, there is absolutely NO magic to them, and having your blood be too thin is just as harmful for a pregnancy as having it clot too easily. “Having a bad lining” is something that many people fear after having had a chemical, but very very few people swaying on Gender Dreaming have actually ever had a poor lining. The most likely cause of too thin a lining is being on Clomid too long and having a BMI below 18 or over 30. If you don’t fall in these categories, you all but certainly do not have any issue with your lining, even if your period is a little lighter than it was in the past. A lighter period is a side effect of the LE Diet for pink and doesn’t mean you cannot get pregnant.
Anything that could cause or contribute to a disruption in your cycle, so your ovulation is coming later than you expect (you’re missing the egg totally) and/or your luteal phase is too short to sustain a pregnancy. Let me know about breastfeeding, herbal supplements (even things that seem very benign, like peppermint tea, can cause this problem), Evening Primrose Oil, high doses of B Vitamins, supplements that have high doses of B Vitamins like Pregnacare Prenatals in the UK, arginine and carnitine when taken by women, “helpful” supplements that have arginine and carnitine in them like Fertile CM, large amounts of green tea, gaining a lot of weight very quickly particularly when eating a lot of carbs, going from eating a high protein to a high carb diet even without weight gain, and losing a lot of weight very quickly particularly when on a low fat diet. All these things can cause you to start ovulating later than you normally do, and can also shorten your LP. These things are all fixable, but I have to know you’re doing them in the first place to be of help!
MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL - anything that is prohibiting sperm from being deposited deeply inside the vagina. You need to actually get the sperm into the vagina, close to the cervix, to conceive a baby of either gender. Sex positions and turkey baster methods are some things people do for swaying that can really cut odds of conception by a lot if the sperm cannot reach the cervix. Pink swayers, you need to let me know if you are doing shallow release. Shallow release has never been proven to sway, and aside from male factor infertility and extreme timing methods, is the third biggest reason why people don’t conceive when swaying. I have had many clients who do everything they can to get pregnant, and still don’t conceive, only to find out that they’re still doing shallow release!
When you contact me for help, these are the things I want you to focus on! Don’t waste an hour of your time writing me everything you ate the last year - tell me the things you’re doing that can actually interfere with your chances of conception, and then I can tell you (usually right away) the things you need to change moving forward!
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